Its a difficult time in the world. And its an easy time to try and find surety in aggression. This is a kind of reaction blindness. And when we react against reaction, its like blind leading blind – on steroids. But, when the going gets tough, perhaps the strong might become sane.
Our beautiful minds are vast and embued with great power. As such, they are a reservoir of great potential. However, we generally ignore this potential in lieu of problems we feel need to be fixed. The problem is these problems tend to birth more problems until our identity is fixed with fixing things. Our attention becomes focused in tighter and tighter loops and our life reduces into simple iterations of routine.
We are caught between the great human potential inherent in all of us and an existential sleepwalk that holds us in lock step. Imagine the power of the universe locked in our laundry closet. At some point something either breaks out or breaks down. But who has time to break down these days? So we soldier on, ignoring the gnawing until we collapse.
Depression is a common and even reasonable reaction to living a life on everyone elses terms. The root of depression may not actually be fear, but the anger we feel from shortchanging our lives because of that fear. Trying to get away from pain, we actually cause more pain. By trying so hard to be good, we end up living a false life. We have been duped by a cosmic shell game bartering reality for an anxiety dream. We cling to external things to help us fix the mess and in so doing forget the one person who can actually help us. The only person who can help. The one who has been there all along. We forget ourselves. When we shunt part of us away out of embarrassment, we become cut off from our inherent power. We begin to believe there is something wrong with us, and that we should be disappointed with ourselves and embarrassed about our depression.
In this way, our depression becomes solid. Our confidence erodes as we feel we are losing a battle. We fall inward and becoming so small the day itself feels too big. From this point of view, the potential of the mind must appear dark and forboding. In reaction to this fear, we shrink our awareness in an ostrich like effort to avoid pain. But, as we are occluding awareness, our fearfulness actually begets more fear. This denial of life not only robs us of joy, it also leaves us very vulnerable to manipulation.
Ancient humans fought for survival, hunted and gathered food. They died easily and lived short lives. Yet those lives may have had more contentment, community and connection than ours. Perhaps being disconnected from pain we are disconnected from an essential part of ourselves. We relagate pain into the darkness and take refuge in the light. We take solace in being right, even as a part of us suspects the opposite.
Our lives move more and more quickly these days. However, the nature we come from, is very slow. The earth moves at its own pace, in its own way. The same with the heart. The faster we move the less we are able to feel the earth beneath us. And this has to threaten a more ancient part of ourselves, a deeper and intuitive part of ourselves. Whether we are aware or not, this spiritual dissonance causes an internal friction. On one hand, we feel we should be doing so much more. On the other, we’re already working too hard. Caught in this zero-sum vice, our heart, art, compassion and the life part of living have become lost. Placing our hearts on hold, we barter creativity for security causing ourseves and others great pain.
This reduction of our life dampens something inside. We can choose to be mute only so long before we forget how to sing. We can stay hobbled only so long before we forget how to dance. We can shut down life only so often, before we lose our will to live. We have told ourselves no so often, we simply shut down in response. So we retreat in fear, collapse inward and, wrapped in the fabric of time and space, hide ourselves from ourselves by becoming consumed in ourselves.
Man, it’s actually quite brilliant.
Crushed beneath the weight of “me” our mind begins to compile a ledger of all the things left wanting, undone and unfulfilled in our life. Our life force turns inward and the mind turns vicious. The power and potential of our mind is turned against the only foe it feels it can defeat: itself.
But, there is a way out. And the way out begins with the way in. By sitting IN our pain, we can become comfortable enough with suffering to find the space within. There is always space. But, in our fear we cling to the familiar and play the same song with such volume we drown all alternatives. However, by training the mind to stay, simply stay, and hold space for our experience, we find we can sit with greater and greater challenges. Eventually, we find a profound stillness. It is within that stillness that we begin to see in the dark. In fact, we become so familiar with the terrain of turmoil, that we learn to walk in the dark. At some point, we may even learn to dance in the darkness finding grace in our simple tenacity.
You see, it will eventually occur to our wounded mind, that we are sill here. One we’ve abandoned hope and surrendered to the great despair, we see that being with ourselves is all we have. Ground zero. Right here, right now, just so.
Meditation practice will not cure depression. Nor should it. But, a consistent daily practice will strengthen the mind, giving us the bravery to enter the dark, the resilience to remain with ourselves and the wisdom to find the love we need.
The love we need.
The love we have been looking for all along. The love that no one else can give. The love we learn to give ourselves by simply being here. There is something supremely powerful about beginning to feel lovingkindness for our incomplete life, bruised heart and tattered mind. We can do this without turning the lights on, forcing a smile or turning the volume down. We can do this simply by being here, and not changing a thing. We can forgo trying to be good and simply be human. And humans suffer. When we connect to our suffering, we are connected to all of life, for all of life experiences suffering.
When we find love in the depths of despair, we find an Unconditional Love that compares nothing and accepts everything. Then we have a gift forged in the flames that no one can take from us. Our gift of unconditional love.
In the Shambhala teachings we say that practicing lovingkindness is to “place the mind of fearfullness in the cradle of loving kindness.” Learning to open the heart to the sadness of our spirit and finding the strength to hold space for our pain is a profound statement. And that profound statement is an acknowledgement of life itself.
Learning to hold ourselves with open arms, reduce the harm and find a connection to all beings is the way of the Bodhisattva. In the Mahayana Buddhist tradition a Bodhisattva is one who has vowed to forstall their own salvation until all beings are free of suffering. They have vowed to venture into hell to liberate all beings. We can find strength in this. There have been such people. And there are such people. Those willing to face the darkness and stay there until they get it. And then, be willing to look outward and bring that strength to the world. That is the way out. Benefit for the world. And, if not the whole world, then our world, 0r community. Someone else. Benefit to others is the best way to value yourself.
And, it is the way out that comes from finding the way in.
Following the election. Our world feels different. Maybe broken. It’s a good time to find healing and strength in love and sanity. It was hard to fathom. The People have spoken. Only not the majority. Rather, some people have spoken, rather pointedly.
Now, all will quiet. It will calm. We will likely not build a wall, or deport, indict or persecute anyone. Everyone will dial back to the center where this country finds ballast continuing nonetheless on a course the election has set. We’ll go back to our lives. And as we sleep again, 2 conservative justices, a conservative senate and an administration built of lobbyists and special interests will turn back time for women, minorities, policing, jails and healthcare. Sadly, no one will turn back time on our changing climate, which will likely continue on pace, with our country a world leader in its own destruction.
You may be frightened. You may be happy that all is turning back from the swing to the left the country has taken. You may feel vindicated. You may be angry. You may be hurting. But, please remember its okay to love, along with hurt. It’s okay to find stillness and feel strength. As we rage in our souls and pour our hearts into every moment, whether we accept, resist, or support the changes, we might also be kind to ourselves. It may not be an easy time to feel light, but remember, we are light. I think we can shine, regardless.
This is bravery in the face of the unknown. I believe that we can respond, and act without malice, and without aggression. The power we have lies in awareness. And awareness comes when we don’t follow blindly, but stay engaged and grounded in the present. I believe we can employ non-violent activism and remain in place, awake, if we begin by sitting in the silence of loving kindness.
Turning anger into love that is awake and active and engaged. Love is not compliance. It is clear seeing with the heart and the mind. But it is dependent on our stability of mind. Our warrior posture of awake. It is time for this. It is time to move from the ignorance of blind compliance, or the blindness of rage to holding our seat as warriors in our body, spirit and mind.
Let’s awaken our republic. Awake New York! Awake DC! Awake LA and Awake America. Gently, but resolutely AWAKE. What other choice is there. The Buddhist teachings say look at your world without disdain or bias. Meditation master, Chogyam Trungpa said “Look. Look at your world. It is your world. How can you not look.” His son, Sakyong Mipham has said again and again that the world needs us now. And to be brave, we must be “kind to ourselves and merciful to others.” From our seat of warriorship we can enact sanity in ourselves and very natural radiate that much needed sanity to others. So, we are shattered, and we are broken. But, rising up in hate and anger is the coward’s way. It is the way humanity has chosen again and again and regretted the results of the experiment each time. Instead, we can sit in strength and dignity of awake and choose sanity.
If survival is where humanity is meant to be going, then choosing sanity for ourselves is an important step. If, on the other hand, we are headed for destruction, well… then sanity seems even more important.
There was another mass killing. Which one was that? The terrorist? The Muslim who sympathized? The Syrian who was left out? The Kid in the night club? The white kid in the theater, or the best friends at school? Its getting so hard to keep count. Kids killing kids, cops killing kids, cops being killed, improvised explosives and suicide vests changing the face of public gathering. The world is erupting. And with it, the cry to have more guns, and more war and more punishment. As though adding to the problem will somehow solve the problem.
But with all the pain, there feels like hope in the cracks of our chaos. With more pain there is, perhaps, more awareness. There is more here, in front of us, to see and to understand.
This is a great time to be alive. Yes. Not instead of the pain or despite the pain, but entirely because of the pain. Its a blessing that we are here to help and to repair and to work to bring this world back into harmony with the earth that has nurtured us. Its a blessing here in New York City to be among the fortunate, the privileged, the few who have the honor to make a difference. It is our great honor to serve. And it is great to give back. You see, we become weakened as we grab for more. We falter as we turn away. We fail as we try to win, and win at all cost. There is no wining that does not win for all of us. There is no sanctity except in the grace of living in a world that we support, and are supported by. And because of this, it is a great time to be awake.
The destination is now, and the time is here. We can make a difference, slowly and surely in our lives and now – more than ever in history – even small differences will be heard around the world.
America Awake is a call to (open) arms. Awake is a revolution whose symbol is not a raised fist, but an open hand. It is a philosophy of understanding. And, rather than re-knowing what we already know, reiterating what we’ve been told, retelling the obvious and restating that which was written in stone, in an age of stone, we can emerge into a new dawn, and simply have the courage to say . . . heck if I know. Lets start fresh.
How can I help?
What is happening now? And, how can I better understand the needs of my sisters, and the truth of my brothers, and the pain of a rainbow of every shade in between?
I pledge allegiance to the moment. And equipped with the immense power of wakefulness, vow to listen to the differences and to heal all damage. I pledge to cause harm to no one and bring the world together in a time of darkness. I pledge to never outrun my fear, but to open my heart to the transformative possibility of my pain.
Is that utterly ridiculous? I suppose so. Its certainly naive and simplistic. And, how cool is that?
The world seems poised at a time of critical mass. Standing at the the edge of now, we come to a time to reckon and decide. Will humanity take the mantle of responsibility for our world, or continue toward fragmentation, isolation and destruction? This cusp is evident in the stage show of American politics. Hillary is being forced precipitously to the left, distancing herself from Donald on the … right?
Or, wherever he stands now that the religious right and social conservatism have retreated to the shadows of influence. In a flood of judgement, one thing for which Trump has not been credited enough is his utter hobbling of the republican party. This even as the exacerbation of its wounds continues to capture the hearts of their majority.
Bernie must live to fight another day. The great progress made toward the undemonification of socialism, economic fairness and class awareness is estimable. Since his campaign the gnawing gash behind the wheels of democracy has become more evident. As veils become slowly diaphanous, scenarios of power structures indebted to big money, big business, big oil, big guns and big pharma are no longer the reserve of action adventure movies. The future us now, as this has become our own home movie.
Yet, even as currents below are exposed, so the vista above clarifies. Can we continue to look away?
A decade ago, Ray Kurzwiel coopted the scientific term singularity to refer to the grand convergence of technology, the streams it enables and society. The theory – certainly borne out in actual events – is that the development of tech will exponentially increase until there is a tipping of the critical mass toward deep structural change that will happen perhaps too quickly to navigate. It is said in the Vedic scriptures that the time of iron will give way to the time of air. We recite apocalyptic prognostications, and the science fiction of ancient texts like fairytales embedding the ideal of a grand culmination in our mental stream. But, maybe this can be navigated elegantly. Perhaps with the advent of greater pain, comes greater awareness, and with it the responsibility to navigate the change with sanity and poise.
I believe there is a politics of materialism which may give way to a politics of spirit, a politics of soul, if you like. The politics materialism builds an identity around the limited conception of duality. We foster local unity by the creating a global difference. We find an other and gain strength through blame. We summarily blame the other party, other countries and other tribes of humans in order to rouse self-referential strength. we are now for real solutions to the problems facing modern life. Like it or not, we are living in another time and place than the world that had come before. Is it a precipice? A juncture? A singularity? An apocalypse? Maybe its just time.
The destination is now and the time is here. Becoming awake in America is about bringing conscious intention to life, to our communities, families and ourselves. I love the idea of being part of a web of purpose whereby we can connect through the warmth of our hearts and the power of intention. It is so important to remember that we can create a purpose for our life, that makes whatever we’re going through, so worth it. Life is hard. But, maybe life becomes easier as we connect to others. Maybe its time to stop the aggressive me-first grabbing at life as though having more than we need will help us. When we act out of panic, all we do is support the panic. When we act out of need, all we do is create more need. But when we find the space of enough, we have enough space to allows other in to our world. We become part of our world. As we give up that which we only grab out of fear, we gain space to acquire new things.
In that space we can create a place to be. A place to create, to conjure, to come home. A kingdom of the mind. A country of the heart ruled by the politics of soul. A kingdom created in the image of human goodness, developing toward goodness for all.
All of us live in societies. We all feel trapped here, or inspired here depending on how much we feel involved in the world around us. We can isolate, and live behind the walls of a stone castle, and become more ensconced in the beliefs that bind us. Or, we can integrate, open to the differences and turn willing to listen the world. Learn hear the songs of other clans, learn to kneel before other beliefs, learn to feast with other tribes. To learn and to change, while still upright in our own dignity.
Perhaps its time.
– More bombing. More killing. More terror.
So many of us want to do something / anything in reaction to the horror of the Orlando killings. Some are calling to institute a ban on “Muslim” immigration. Others for outright attack upon other nations, their people or spiritual beliefs. There are 2 ministers quoted as saying the LGBT community got what it deserved. That’s the one that got me. So, yeah, now I’m blaming as well. Anyway you turn there is another convenient object of aggression. Its an age-worn ruse to blame an “other” in order to rouse our own confidence. But that confidence is no confidence at all. It is cheap and lazy ego pacification. We feel uncomfortable, because we are frightened. But, its easier to rush to anger than feel fear. Its a way of not staying with the discomfort long enough to learn what should be done.
People are concerned about their safety. And, while there are certainly threats abroad, we are vulnerable at home due to the proliferation of weaponry in our own closets. Most domestic acts of terror in our schools, homes, churches and clinics have been committed by American citizens, each fighting their own subjective wars. The LGBT community has been the target of much domestic aggression. In this most recent instance, by a troubled young man, born and living in America, who had frequented the club as a customer. He was described as suffering from mental illness, but somehow was able to buy 2 assault rifles as well as hand guns. He was influenced and inspired by radical Islamic Jihadism, yes. But, he lived here. He armed himself – legally – here. So, why not look to ourselves here? What culture has the kind of SELF-INFLICTED rampant violence now common to the home of the brave? If we are so brave why do we cow to the Gun lobby, the NRA and other agents of self interest? Why not be brave enough to clean our own home first? BAN ASSAULT RIFLES. Loosen the gun lobby’s political hegemony. Reassess the 2nd amendment in order to reaffirm its original intent: to protect – not destroy – the populace.
It was well into the 19th century, when the USA became one of the last countries of the first world to abolish slavery. While this was partly due to ingrained racism against these newly forced migrants, it had more to do with economic – and hence political – necessity. It took censure and sanctions from world leaders, and finally military strength from its own government, to pry America lose from reliance on slavery.
And, Americans killed Americans then. And, when the dust settled, the world had not conquered us. We had not succumbed to adventitious aggression from abroad. We actually became stronger, as we loosened our reliance on unfair, unethical and vicious economic practices and moved into accordance with civilized views.
Presently, we are held hostage by the economic strength and powerful political lobbies of the gun industry and its political allies. We are afraid to rock a boat that is nonetheless becoming obsolete. From the inception of our nation, elected officials have inspired the populace with great vision, while having to navigate power brokers that influenced currents below. This is no conspiracy theory. Its part of the power dynamic that has made this country very strong. But, it is the nature of power to protect itself. At some point, people being protected are in danger of that which protects them. The entrenched influence of the nation’s pillar institutions, while not generally the theme of political speeches, cannot be discounted. We can ignore this power, as we debate “issues”, we can work around the power, or we can try and expose the power, and weaken it. But in the end, we will always render unto Caesar, what is Caesar’s. We will pay for allegiances to past beliefs with our own health and our children’s future.
Until things change. As they always do.
As in the time of slavery, the sadly drudging movement of change has pitted us against the moral development of the modern world. Few, if any, of the 1st -or even 2nd – world nations live in the amount of fear from their own citizens as we do, in the land of the free. As a populace, we are so strangely ensconced within ourselves, that we do not see the incredulity with which most of the world has to the murders, violence and self-destruction within our society.
Practitioners of Buddhism, meditation or pacifism are accused of taking an unrealistically “peaceful” approach. But, peace is not unrealistic. Violence is unrealistic and unsustainable. Violence keeps things locked in tight circles of self-affliction. Love and release bring us closer to the truth. So, I don’t want to demonize the gun lobby, or create another enemy. There are many fine people who oppose gun restrictions for various reasons. What is essential, is that Americans begin to see the world as other’s see it. I hope for my clan is that we don’t buy in to the easy answers and find strength in hatred but, that we open our minds to working with what is.
But, to be honest, we cannot expect the nation to follow dictates which we ourselves ignore. Where are we creating wars simply because we don’t see a way to peace? Where have we become hostages to our own defenses? Where have we silently acquiesced to the succession of aggression handed down from mother to son to father to daughter? Where are afraid to stand up and actually see the situations that bind us, and in an inviolable act of love, release ourselves from that suffering? We do this by seeing. By standing up and seeing that perhaps we have become our own enemy.
Maybe its not what our country is doing to us, but what we have done to our country. And, without shame, or further aggression, maybe we can ask what can we change in ourselves to create peace in our world. Maybe our rights are less important than our safety, and the respect of our society. Maybe rather than bear arms we can promote our right to bare arms. To live freely in a feee society without guns, weaponry or defensive posture. Perhaps our bare arms can hold each other in the strength of love. Standing naked in truth, rather than draped in an ideology that lies on the surface of, and ultimately in the service of, big money and political influence.
There is so much pain in the world. So much struggle. We have everything we need to have everyone on the planet happy, safe and well fed. But, the imbalance of wealth continues. The environment is red lining. There are random catastrophic attacks on innocent people around the world. Is any of this sustainable? Fixable? Actually, survivable?
Is it the end of times? Or, will that come with an election in the fall? (I’m old enough to have laughed at the idea of Ronald Reagan. And we all remember Al Gore winning the presidency, don’t we?) But seriously, are we going to elect a billionaire with questionable business histories to help restore economic balance? The alternative, by the way, is only a millionaire, albeit with an equally sliding business moral scale.
In what scientists refer to as a stable universe, we live with the fact that the cosmic rug can be ripped from us at any time. But, science only explains so much. Our beliefs, when they aren’t completely blocking us, only go so far. Ideas aren’t worth the projections they’re imprinted on. When it comes down to it, there is only life. And life does whatever the heck it wants.
That’s what we signed on for when we met the gleam in our parents’ eyes and pushed past the thighs screaming into the night. It’s no surprise we were crying. But, Then we gave in, forgot the truth, and decided to try it all over again. We became excited by our feet and the prospect eating the coffee table. Eventually, we walked and eventually we let go of youth to pound rocks in this improbable prison called life.
And we understood that those weren’t rocks so much as our heads. And when we stopped pounding long enough against the cell door, we had an epiphany. Okay, not an epiphany as much as a realization. Or, maybe a resignation. This is all there is. Its not gonna be anything other than this. And when we got that, we stopped hitting our head long enough to realize the cell was ajar. And that jars can be opened. And, all we need do is let go into that smile from divine tho born from the dirt and delivered to the dirt, in between, take our place on the planet as its stewards and its fruit. That’s it really. Just take care of things, as we can.
People try and find deeper MEANING in life as the planet is threatening to evict us, and we are warring on our own souls. Kind of like philosophizing at the scene of a car accident. Sure, these things beg the grand questions. But, shouldn’t someone call an ambulance?
This is a plea for us to do something out of love and care for each other and the world. This is a call to nonviolent activism. Waking up in the chaos and riding this lifemare into the dark and the light of our journey. Letting go of what we believe, so we can step into the arms of who we are and what we need to do for each other to save ourselves. I recommend sitting down to gather ourselves and letting the energy of change change us into the Bodhisattvas we were destined to become. If the world is grasping for something to save it, maybe we can be junkies for wakefulness. Maybe we can be willing to sleep in the cold just for the rush of helping our world. So when Walking Dead is finally done, when we’ve exhausted all excuses, when the alarm has been pushed to snooze enough times, we can wake up and realize this is the only life we have in this life. And it needs us. Not the planet. The planet will evict us and carry on like nothing much happened. In a billion years it will sprout another thinking race. And, maybe that race will know enough to live with some respect for itself.
But, maybe that race is here. In our dream of waking. In our belief in each other. In our trust in humanity. We can wake up into the dream, and bring the change.
Life is continually changing. And although it is natural for us to fear change, by shutting down to that fear we shut down our life. Hence, opening to change, frightening as it may be, is opening to life.
The tool we need to supply the strength for this journey lies no further than our own heart. The power of a compassionate heart is the strong force of the universe that binds us to a lasting truth. The oldest written book we know is the Taoist I Ching or “Book of Changes”. A fundamental experience to all life is its transience. Even our planet, the very home to humanity, is changing. Yet, throughout human experience, we have endeavored to find stability and meaning. In order to live a full and rewarding existence, we have grasped at straws of permanence in ourselves, our spirituality, religion, art, science and even politics. Yet, attempts at solidifying our experience are themselves subject to decay and dissolution.
This dissonance has created great tension in our lives. We are changing, and yet, we long to find stability and something that lasts. The great Taoist philosophies from which Confucianism and Buddhism extend, posit the image of a river. The river has been flowing for through epochs, but each time we step in, it is an entirely new river.
As a tree grows, it is not cursed with the question of its existence, nor has it the need to find meaning to validate its experience. Animals, find need in dominance and survival and their existence is largely fearful. But humans have the greatest challenge of life on our planet. We are blessed with the curse of knowing. We can see just enough to understand that our time is very limited. Yet, we still don’t understand why. Hence, we struggle between the botanical model of ignoring our existence, or closing down into patterns of defensiveness. When we feel good, the tendency is to escape into frivolous experience, as though we have all the time in the world. We consume beyond our needs, take more space than is offered and live without appreciation. On the other hand, when circumstances arise that we are forced to see the precarious nature of our experience, we might burrow into warrens of protective repetition, shutting down our life into a dull, but controllable, routine. In either case, we are gripping, clinging and closing off our life. And in neither case, are we able to sustain our position. Exuberance and fear are both subject to change. And, in fact, most of us cycle back and forth between the two extremes. Life seems blissful when we are lost in a dream, but when the dream ends and we are faced with a life that has not been related to, we fall into depression of guilt and blame.
There is a third option, a middle way that includes joy and truth. And that is, opening to our life, as it is and finding the love, joy and acceptance for which we yearn in our own heart and mind. We realize our basic human dignity by opening to fear, rather than finding an exit to a more manageable or less painful experience. When we accept that life is change and that change is frightening, we can open beyond. By opening to change, we are waking up to the truth of our experience. When we choose a life of knowing, caring and compassion are natural. And this gives a profound meaning to our experience. By connecting to the stream of love, we are connected to the lineage of life.
And, life, like the river in our analogy is the lasting experience we are craving. By opening, we step past our fear and touch our heart. When we connect to that self love and caring, we are connected to the love of the universe. And, whether that love is God, Dharma, the Tao, Humanity or History it is a living flow that is has never changed, and is different each time we step into it. The present has been flowing for as long as there has been life in the cosmos. But each time we come back to the present, it is a new and rich experience.
Bartering Being Right for Being Love.
More bombings. More terror. Tuesday morning, on the eve of a solar eclipse, suicide bombs and automatic weapons took the lives of over 30 people in Brussels. After 5 people died in Istanbul the previous Saturday. The two recent attacks claimed over 2oo wounded. And there were others before. Large and small. High profile and low. A lineage of hatred ringing through the streets. Our streets. The streets of human hope, life and understanding. Its hard not to be angry and frightened. And so, its easy to react with hatred, passing down hatred through a succession of aggression. And many will do that. And, this is natural and, for now, unavoidable. But, there are some who will stand in the face of terror. There are those who will offer love and caring for the victims and a world torn by hatred. It takes great bravery to do this. My heroes are those who stand for love regardless. Who don’t fall for the easy action, and instead try and face the danger with an open heart and open eyes. It is imperative that some of us begin to understand this anger and offer kindness in its stead.
Facing terror with an open heart will seem naive to some. But, by opening the heart instead of shying away we are willing to try and see. By accepting with radical allegiance what has happened in hopes of understanding how to heal this and break the chain. We may not have answers. But, if we remain dedicated to waiting through the pain, perhaps we can one day find a way out of this. But, if not, and if this violence continues until it ends us, at least some will have given the love and care that is so needed in the midst of pain. Someone has to answer blood with heart, or we will never heal. And if we never heal, we will never grow beyond these cycles of self-interest and self-protection.
For those brave enough to face the terror, perhaps we can be still long enough to see its entire scope. While we revile terrorism for its animal cruelty and relegate terrorists to sub-human status, we have given ourselves the moral permission to place all our frustration, fear and anger onto a nondescript other. This momentary empowerment feels right. It feels strong. But the more we grip, the more vulnerable. By closing our mind in a vice, we are actually more vulnerable. We are vulnerable not only to danger, but to being manipulated by those who broker in fear and hatred. We all love the underdog in movies. We identify with native struggles, and those oppressed by stronger cultures. This “Robin Hood” syndrome is a very real human impulse. The United States itself identifies as rebels in it’s inception. But were the patriots we revere deemed terrorists to some? How was our own country viewed by the native people of this continent? How were we viewed by slaves torn from their families, shipped and traded like cattle to support an illegal economy? And how are we seen to young children growing up in the middle east with scant hope and little opportunity to realize their basic human ambitions? They are easily manipulated by those who profit from their anger, and frankly the first world is an all too easy target.
But, the truth is, we are all victims of aggression. There is poverty and disempowerment in the first world, as well. There are victims of abuse in our safe American homes who can so easily turn toward hatred to find a way from their pain. Hate on hate on hate on hate. Our lineage of suffering might look senseless and cruel from the outside, but it feels so heroic within. This hatred keeps us spinning, and in our spinning, we no longer see. We only grasp the closest ally, and follow the strongest current. In this way, we are all unwitting adjuncts to our destruction. And in the melee, we miss the reality, for it is a sad truth that in times of duress victims will kill victims. We are so caught in the bloodlust, we forget to see the obvious. For instance, an obvious thought is that terror costs money. Who has the money? I’m sure that few people dressed in a suicide belt come from great wealth and power. Where is the money that supports them? Along with pictures of the carnage, why are there not articles on who is financing and who is actually benefitting from terror? Where is the money? If we stop the money, and prosecute the pipeline of arms and resources, might we not slow the progress of hatred? Might we not be able to separate out the causes and conditions and begin to see how to untie the knot? Then those left in the trenches might be free to communicate and begin to understand what creates this hatred. Unfortunately, then we would have to listen to stories we’d rather not hear. We’d have to begin to see ourselves tin the other. And, that is so very much more complicated than blame.
No, its easier to stay with the simple. Its easier to build walls and blow up markets than to try and see what someone else sees. And because of this blindness, we are at the mercy of the momentum. We are pulled like bulls from our nose. We are lead to slaughter again and again. So, while anger is easily justified, some of us simply must try something else. Some of us must take the mantle of kindness and peace in the face of war. Some of us must stand to open our hearts, if not to the aggressors, at least to the victims. So it will be said, never forget, and please don’t let them have died in vain. And monuments will be erected. And those slogans will be used to rally further war. This is what has happened, and what will happen again.
But, our memories of the victims can also be used to rally peace. Don’t let the victims die in vain. Let their suffering pose an opportunity for us to bond in compassion and caring. Let us forgive the easy answers for the bravery of being love in this time of hatred. This will change the world.
And, if you think that this is naive, and an avoidance of the responsibility of action, then please show me how aggression has helped. Maybe sometimes it has. More often its probably just unavoidable. But, in any case, it has added to the myth of the preeminence of might. And, justified or not, this has obscured our ability to see past vicious struggles for survival to greater human understanding. If we choose love, we do something different. We take a moment to pause and for a brief, but very important moment, we break the chain. And that break proves that the chain is not unbreakable. And that gap might open the window to an opportunity to develop a new way of working with our pain. Maybe then instead of erecting statues to commemorate war, we can build monuments to peace. Instead of using victims suffering adventitiously to strengthen ourselves, we can share in their pain and create greater compassion and understanding in the world.
I do not have that understanding now. I am angry as well. I do not know what is right, or who is right or what is best. But, I know that I want to make a statement for peace, because peace is what is needed. Simply that. There are warriors, and their are healers. The world has always been this way. Let us not forget the healing. Let us not forget understanding. Let us not forget to sit in meditation or prayer and in honor of those who suffer, face the terror with love.
A Guided Meditation
There is a moment when the mind ‘flips’ from externalizing and objectifying to an internalizing or integrating perspective. You slow down enough or maybe wake up enough. and you can feel that moment in the mind.
Let’s try. Okay?
- Sit up right. Allow the energy to drain down through you as you spine rises straight up. Elongate the yogic stretch of the spine as though the tailbone were a weighty ancient stone arrowhead and the head was gently pulled upward to the sky by a golden string. Imagine the spine extended gently creating space between the vertebrae.
- Then allow the muscles, organs and sinew of the body to relax down, creating space inside the body for the organs to function and circulatory, respiratory and nervous to flow naturally. Allow room for the body to breathe. Close the eyes and gently relax them. Shut off the point of focus behind the eyes, behind the forehead. Relax the nexus of tension in the back of the neck. Open the throat. As you breathe, relax down to the heart. imagine that opening, as though it were a horizontal lotus, blooming, expanding. In the back ground you are aware of the breathing, the essential rhythm of life. Allow the energy to flow down and open through your stomach, abdomen, groin and hips and seat. Allow the rhythm of breathing to coax the energy out the hands, feet, fingers and toes.
- Contact the felt experience of the breath. Allow the breath to expand through you and open you. Allow the rhythm of the breathing to settle you further – even as the spine stretches upward. As the spine stretches upward toward its destiny of wakefulness to the sky, the viscera relaxes down toward a sovereignty of completeness within the earth.
- Sit breathing for a few moments.
- Then draw allow your primary awareness into a mindful experience of the breathing. Gently take in information from the experience. Relax the external experience of you. Just become the experience of the breath. Your primary awareness is the breath. Around the breath, a secondary or harmonic awareness of the open and aligned body begins to occur. Beyond that, an experience of the room around you, the environment, sounds on the street, and your thinking. As the mind localizes on a thought it will lose its connection to the breath and there will be an experience of you. The experience of you will occlude your awareness, and become insular and self-referential. Release that, as it happens, and relax back into identification with the breath. And through that, into non-identification itself. Be the breath breathing into an open vessel.
- Simply that.
- Allow the perceptions of the mind, to be part of the general awareness and allow the breath to lead us back to integration with the physical and emotional planes. Allow the breath moving through an aligned, and open body, to guide your experience away from identifying with the “you” construct and back into a physical experience of now.
- Releasing yourself from all constructs, place your identification on the simple movement of the breath in the moment. Allow perceptions to come and go, as they will, without relating to “you”. “You” are only awareness of the present moment as embodied by the breath. So, just be the breath. And, at some point, just be.
- As you continue breathing, feel that recede into the background as you place your primary attention on the left hand. First you notice that in the mind and notice any judgement (“I don’t want to do this?” ” I was just getting to samadhi” “I hate exercise.” It’s all okay. Allow that information to recede into the background.
- Then move your mind to the hand. The mind may want to jump off. “Okay, I got it.” But gently move beyond that. Investigate the hand. Is there a temperature? Are there different temperatures on different sides of the hand? Is there an evenness to the way the fingers are splayed? Just notice. Then open.
- Open to the hand and allow the information from the hand to enter your mind stream. Keep ancillary attention on the breathing as you gather wordless information from the hand.
- Just be the hand there in the moment, as you breathe.
- Then bring the breath back to the foreground. First the mind hears that. Then, if there’s no resistance, you move the mind to the breath. Then, if there are no distractions, the mind can momentarily investigate. Where is the body moving? Where is the breath? Then, before words become sentences, open to the experience of the breathing and actually feel it. Open to it and allow the information to touch you
and, change you.
- Now, become the breath
- Place your hands over your heart area. Feel the radiant energy of your touch. Allow the dominant hand to hold the heart. Breath into that. Breath the energy of wakefulness and strength into the heart. Connect to the vertical alignment of rising in a yogic stretch from your connection to the earth through the spine infinitely to the sky. Awake. Now feel the energy of the other hand. Open your heart into it. Relax into the hands and the posture opening the heart, and allowing the energy within to flow through you. Bring a image of something you love into your heart. And let that love radiate. Then, drop your hands.
- Slowly open your eyes. Look around the room, allowing the space created from a settled mind illuminate al you see. Let form and emptiness entwine in a magical dance. Let your eyes naturally fall on an object.
- Then send your mind to the object. Penetrate it. See it in ways you would have never seen before. Allow the secondary awareness of the breath to settle this process in the background. Relax further into object as you breathe.
- Now relax. Stop focusing and open. Allow the object in to you. Begin to receive it. And finally be it. Connected.
- Then let go. Lower the gaze and return to the breath.
When I do this exercise in a group, I’ll have people couple off into dyads. I’ll ask them to turn to each other and sit in silence together with eyes closed. Then I’ll ask them to open their eyes, look at each other for a minute or so. Then I’ll ask them to mention something they see or feel in the other one at a time. The first person looks a bit deeper and when ready offer a “gift” of their observation. Then the received after a moment of silence, responds with what they heard. Then silence, again and repeat. When the two gifts have been offered, heard and confirmed in silence and strength, I ask them to share with each other how they felt about their gifts. At some point, I usually they relax the form and just debrief the experience.
What is the purpose of this?
To interrupt the momentum of the mind as it burrows into concept and away from clear perception. To see the obstacles to opening to clear perception and to circumvent those obstacles toward a fresh experience of mind.
It is stunning and heartbreaking to see the world we generally miss.