Love may be an eternal flame. But you and I are just sparks. We illuminate the journey and pass into the dark night.
We will die. Our great love destined to last forever will pass. The best poems will pass. The Buddha passed and Buddhism will eventually pass. Even the Beatles who’s songs seem to reinvent themselves will eventually fade out. The “me” we’ve come to know, cherish and protect will pass. Very few will ever know when. Even condemned prisoners facing a given execution date have reprieves, stays and appeals that change the date so many times, that many most die of natural causes at an ungiven time. Even patients on their deathbeds, don’t know how and when the actual moment will come. Suicide is an act of fearful control, playing god with pills or knotted bed sheets. Even then, do we know when the moment will come and how it will feel? Nothing can move faster than the speed of light, and none of us while living can know our own death.
Looking objectively, this seems a pretty lousy deal. Who would make such a bargain? Were we drunk? An inebriated fetus in the Vegas womb gambling blindly on life?
We come into this world, clinging to our new existence grabbing onto shiny objects as they pass. This will continue through our life as though life is defined by everything we capture. Maybe we might halt the flow of time by hanging onto reeds on the shore. This drive to exist is deeply programmed into us as a primal imperative. And in our desperate gripping to “be” few of us consider the fact that tour being will one day be stolen, often without ceremony or warning.
But yet, do we really not know? Somewhere inside we get it, don’t we? As deeply programmed as our drive for survival is, the knowledge that the ice below us is very thin is unseen and unspoken at every moment. Every fear, dark dream or shadowed room, speaks to the actual fear that lies within us. The very rebirth of spring heralds the coming thaw when the ice of our pretense will thaw and we will fall into darkness eternal. So, without ever thinking it, we strategize, plan and plot to avoid the inevitable. Too fearful to let go and live, we are always running, hiding, apologizing, explaining and rationalizing. Living in our head, we bargain against catastrophes we imagine, all the while knowing somewhere that one of these will come true.
Contemporary songwriter, Jason Isbell, wrote If We Were Vampires, and life was a joke, we’d go out on the sidewalk and smoke, and laugh at all the lovers and their plans. I wouldn’t have the need to hold your hand. This is stunning … maybe, he continues, time running out is a gift. I’ll work hard till the end of my shift. And give you every second I can find and hope it isn’t me who’s left behind.
So, death without warning is a raw deal, but would immortality be better? If we won every hand while sitting at the cosmic card table, wouldn’t we soon lose interest? Wouldn’t the game become less meaningful, even from the start?
The question of our impermanence—and what it means to us—is central to the Buddhist path. Dying may be the fundamental statement of life. As one traditional Buddhist slogan reminds us: Death comes without warning. This body will be a corpse. In particular, the life of beings is like a bubble that can burst at any time. This slogan is one of the “Four Reminders, That Turn the Mind to the Dharma” and is recited every day, often in the morning, and even on birthdays. Buddhism not inherently morbid. In fact, this reminder comes after we contemplate the preciousness of our human birth, a slogan that ends “now I must do something meaningful.” Our life is short. But the life around us is plentiful, powerful and poignant. It was here before us and will continue after we’ve gone. Yet so much of that life is held at bay because of our fear. Maybe the issue is not death as much as the way we allow fear to dominate life. Buddha had his students look at suffering and fear as primary conditions of human existence. He did this so that by accepting life as it is, we can begin to learn about the life that is actually here. It is that life that becomes the roadmap to our liberation. If we don’t see the truth we can’t understand the condition.
By looking directly at our existential situation, we are not only confronted with the tragedy of life, but also its preciousness. Facing death awakens us to the value of life. Acknowledging that we don’t know how or when this life will end is naturally frightening—especially to the part of our mind that seeks control. But meditation is the process of uncovering and letting go of that fearful need to control. It is not death that keeps us sequestered from life, it is the need to control our life. However, letting go of control does not mean letting go of our agency. In fact, as we develop awareness and the ability to pay attention to the preciousness of this moment, our agency becomes more potent, not less. When we find ourselves gripping, coercing, manipulating—trying to hold on to impermanent aspects of life—we can pause and recognize that impulse as a common human frailty. Then, we can look within and remember control is futile. Control might preserve some aspects of the life we’ve already had, but it does nothing to allow us to live now. And living now is so very important to our health wellbeing and development. We cannot control the future, but we can wake up now and direct ourselves toward our purpose. This is how we gain agency by letting go.
This life is a passage that leads …
well, you’ll have to stay tuned.
When Lord Buddha became enlightened, he was asked how he knew he was enlightened and he touched the earth and said “the earth is my witness.” This act of humility was simple and profound. Enlightenment to the Buddha was not some grand state of all-knowing; it was a state of acquiescence, acceptance, and presence. It was not rising above our circumstance, but simply being here. We can reconnect to that state of presence, everytime we touch the earth by making contact with the present. Feeling our feet on the ground as we walk, feeling our hands touching the knife as we prepare our meal, taking any and every opportunity to interrupt the grand narratives we script with ourselves at the center and allow ourselves to be present with whatever we’re doing. And today I would like to introduce how we might do that in a tactile and definite way. This simple engagement will transform your life.
Anxiety is a