Category: Writing

Posted on by joseph mauricio

MAKING SPACE FOR PEACE

TAKING MY FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER

How can we be less impacted by circumstances as we move through life? Friction in our friendships, difficulties at the office, contention between family members, are common clashes. As well, worry over an uncertain future and thoughts triggered from a wounded past provoke from within. We seem to have triggers everywhere. Some of these we may not be able to change. But we can change our relationship to any of them.

We make difficult circumstances more difficult when we allow the mind to go into adjacent worries, recrimination and judgment. For instance, there is drilling happening not far from my apartment. It’s annoying and incessant. I’m here having to work on a post about creating peace with this going on in the background. It becomes especially painful when the background becomes the foreground, as is happening now as I’m referring to it.  However in the course of writing, I’ll refocus on my work and forget the noise. This cessation of suffering comes and goes and yet the drilling is continuing unabated. Sometimes I’m aware and sometimes not.  Each time I’m aware of the drill I forget all about the periods of relative peace.  It seems this drilling has been going on my entire life and will continue forever.  I cannot help but take this personally.

If I cannot change a situation it falls in the category of pain. Pain is unavoidable in life. Yet any pain can become amplified when it’s cloaked in mental, physical or emotional struggle. This is suffering. And as is said, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. The key is being able to accept pain and access the space to see how we can reduce the suffering. Oh, and not take it personally, of course.

Our lives would be so much lighter and more direct if we could accept our pain and move through it without complicating at every turn. So, sitting here with the drilling thinking ‘why did I move to this place?’ Or ‘maybe I should call city services’ is not only an unnecessary complication, it opens the door for further complication. ‘Of course, I can’t call city services, I’ll be on the phone for hours. And then no one will listen.’  The mind piles on more and more evidence that our life is tragic, and we are woefully misunderstood. All the while, I forget that I can just walk into another room. Sometimes I think I like to suffer and feel sorry for myself. Kind of like an auto Munchausen syndrome.

These complications create suffering and distract us from the present. “Distracted” means we are not paying attention. We might think we are present because we are bitching about it, but in reality, we are lost in mental cycles of suffering that have little, if anything, to do with what is happening. Unfortunately, not paying attention leaves us vulnerable. That vulnerability creates anxiety in the part of the mind charged with monitoring our self-defense. When triggered the body grips itself in a faux-protective tension that instigates feelings of unease. The mind tries desperately, to rectify this by  reiterating scenarios it hopes to control. As the mind is where we think we live, we believe these stories that are triggered by anxiety, memory and speculation. These narratives, with ourselves at the center, keep us enthralled and distanced from reality.

In Meditation, each time we recognize distraction we have the choice to create a gap in which we are able to come back to the present. This process extends to triggering situations in life. We can return to the body breathing – which is happening in the present. As we train the mind to leave its dream world behind, we begin to see that operating more closely to reality allows us to recognize and become familiar with the fears we always live with. We become able to work with things that frighten us, until they become workable.

However, as we step out of our cocoon, we still need protection.  But, we change our allegiance from fantasy to awareness. The further we awaken the more danger we perceive. As we step from the cocoon the world is more vibrant because we are leaving a sensually dampened state and stepping into clarity. The world is more vibrant, but that means sirens are louder, people more irritating, and danger more apparent. It is said that irritation is the vanguard of awareness.  Sometimes, we retreat. Yes. But our work is to notice when we are closing down, and to encourage ourselves toward opening when we are able, as we can.

So, how do we step from our cocoon and remain confident as we do so?

Rather than the faux protection of our panicked thinking, Meditation practice allows us to create a gap between input and impulse, which serves as a  mote or buffer of aware space. Whether we are triggered by someone else, or drilling outside the window, all instigating impulses happen in our mind. When the mind builds it cocoon it compounds itself into a hall of mirrors. Turning the attention from this brain constipation toward the aerobic movement of breathing interrupts the process and allows the claustrophobia to abate. When we turn our attention from the overwhelmed brain to the body breathing, we go return to something grounding. And while simple awareness of the breath may seem inadequate to address how impacted we feel, it actually creates a gap that allows the mind more clarity to see clearly.

So how do we work with our thinking? Buddhists believe that our every thought travels the same cyclic journey as as does our life. Each life travels the same cycle as every epoch in history, or any structure in society, every fad and trend. Everything that happens is born in darkness and matures through a process that flowers into consciousness and fades eventually into entropy, death and reconfiguration. At death, a momentum remains to shape the next reconfiguration. Born in darkness, these cycles remain unknown to themselves, unless something interrupts the pattern.

In meditation practice we begin to see aspects of these cycles in our mind. With practice, we actually learn to interrupt the cycle and allow awareness.  The most reliable point of interrupting the cycle happens as a feeling arises.  This is a red flag, of sorts. Our feeling might be pleasurable, neutral or painful.  We generally don’t pay attention to our feelings and move past them toward the next stages in the cycle, craving and grasping. Craving can be wanting something we want, but it can also be yearning for relief from situations we don’t want. The next stage, grasping is when we take hold and make a meal of it. When experiencing painful situations, we naturally crave relief and cling to a struggle that sometimes expands our pain into suffering. If we are not aware, we become lost in a fantasy cocoon fueled by feelings of victimization and retribution.

The interruption point comes as we become conscious of the cycle.  The more we meditate, the more we are familiar with the mind, the sooner we are able to impose a gap of awareness. The most reliable entry point lies between craving (wanting things to change) and grasping (beginning to struggle.)

In simple language, when we notice something unpleasant that has the capacity to engulf us into a cycle of suffering, we can interrupt the process before we take anything personally. We can pick up the laptop and go into another room. If we cannot change the circumstances, we can change our relationship to it. And the best remedy, I have found, is to create internal mental space as a buffer. When we recognize we are in pain, we can interrupt the mind cycle by releasing our grasping and letting go, return to the breath. We are moving from struggling with things we cannot change, toward what we can, our breath. We can slow down and disengage.

By relaxing the nervous system our mind becomes clear and from the vantage of aware space, the situation may reveal itself as entirely workable.

Posted on by joseph mauricio

THE NEXT RIGHT BREATH

Stepping Past Mental Confusion.

Walking through life one breath at a time sounds very beautiful and Buddhisty. Yet to our everyday brains, it feels pretty impractical.

In a world filled with endless information and impulses, the idea of simplifying life to a single breath may seem overly reductive, especially in contrast to the overwhelming chaos of our triggered states. And while chaos is part of life these days, perhaps there is a way to navigate this chaos. Instead of trying to control the flood of thoughts and data, we can shift our focus from the mind into action. And we can take that action one step at a time. The question becomes: What is the next right step?

It is often said that action leads to clarity of mind. Action is simple. It is the next step we take, or the next breath we notice. When we remain stuck in our minds, we overwhelm ourselves with outcomes, variables, and possibilities, all echoing endlessly. But reducing this confusion to one practical step can help us move forward. Once we identify that one step, the following steps often reveal themselves naturally.

“Move a muscle and change your mind,” it is said.

When we are stuck, movement leads to clarity. But it is crucial that this movement is an action taken in confidence, and not a reaction based in fear. The key is a mindful pause, that allows us to turn the lights on, before we step. Reactions born of fear such as defensiveness, anger, or frustration only add to confusion because they are blind. They are shaped by past pain that we unconsciously relive. In contrast, the next right step is free of this conditioning. It arises consciously, rooted in the present.

So how do we remain conscious and move beyond our mental entrapment? When the mind gets lost in itself, it can feel as though we are battling others. We fixate on them, or the weather, or the traffic, demonizing any available external. Yet in truth, we are not seeing anything but our projections. This does not help anyone, least of all ourselves. To counter this, we can follow a simple process of turning the mind from itself toward the breathing body and align with the breath. The breath is reliably in the present. By coming back to the present, we turn the mind from darkened reaction, to seeing more simply and the next action often reveals itself. This pause cuts through negative, programmed reactions and allows us to take an authentic step forward—one unclouded by past experiences or future expectations. Free of impulse, this step can follow our higher self or spiritual being.

While it is important to be in the moment, each moment is leading to the next. To make this next authentic action practical, it helps to determine where we are going. If we have a commitment to work for the benefit of all beings then it becomes clear. By “all,” beings we are including ourselves. Helping others at the cost of our own wellness is not truly helpful. So, what is the next step that leads toward helpful engagement with our world?  Once we know this, the next step we take is a natural action. By natural we mean not rooted in confusion or external expectation, but what needs to be done for the benefit of everyone, including ourselves. Taking that step will clarify the next step and in so doing reveal the journey ahead. We move toward helpfulness and harmony, and away from reactive patterns that keep us entangled in life’s struggles.

But, a view of developing ourselves to be a benefit to others, also sounds Buddhisty and impractical. But, what is happening here is very practical. We are not reaching beyond ourselves, or trying to gain anything that is not already here. We are simply adjusting our view away from self-centered desires that actually are impractical. If our view is only our own happiness, than we have created a very narrow space. Happiness is dependent on other things, our livelihood, our relationships, the weather. It is actually, out of our control and largely theoretical. Real happiness comes to us. It is a product of living a life we believe in, and is connected to al beings. We are part of life on this planet, and part of the consciousness of the universe. But, this is only accessible in the present – right here, right now. And should we adopt the view that we are here to benefit our world, we are connected to a vastness that is inspiring.

Many traditions speak of karma, each with its own interpretation. In Buddhist teachings, karma reflects vast interactive forces that guide us into certain life situations, like currents in a river. When lost in the river, we cannot fully understand these currents. However, we still have choices: to fight, to succumb, or to guide ourselves through. By choosing to guide, we release ourselves from struggle, moving one stroke—or one breath—at a time, away from danger and toward safety.

If we panic, we create more waves and confusion, making progress even harder. But when we understand the right direction—away from the waterfall, for example, and toward a safe dock—we can calmly take one stroke at a time. It is not necessary to comprehend the full scope of karma to reduce its influence. Instead, by waking up and becoming aware of the present moment, we stop creating new karma through ignorance or momentum. Awareness allows us to choose the next right action, breaking free of preprogrammed reactions.

If our higher mind aligns with the benefit of ourselves and others, each step we take—each breath—becomes the next right action toward that view.

The Four R’s: A Tool for Moments of Confusion

When confusion arises, we often try to fight through it, only to find our destination slipping further away. Instead, we can use the Four R’s:

  1. Recognize the confusion. Acknowledge it without judgment.
  2. Release your grip on the struggle. Let go of what is causing or worsening the confusion.
  3. Return to the rhythm of your breathing. Anchor yourself in the present moment.
  4. Realign with the flow of life. Allow the next action to arise naturally.

By employing this process, we can release ourselves into the natural flow of life. One breath at a time. And by training in returning to the breath in meditation practice, we are training to return to life whenever we are caught in our mind.

Posted on by joseph mauricio

HOME

Landing Back to Earth

Walking the emotional gauntlet of the holiday season is challenging. The holidays are often described as loving and warm, but it can also feel cold and threatening.

Incidents of familial violence and self-harm spike during this time.  Perhaps we try hard to please those we love. Maybe we get caught up in competition over how much we can give. Or perhaps we feel anxious about our financial security and our ability to be generous and offer ourselves to others. Maybe we fall into the trap of need, looking with avarice at all the shining bobbles. Even when we have much for which to feel grateful, sometimes home is where the hurt is.

What does it mean to come home for the holidays when we don’t feel safe at home at any time. And maybe if we don’t feel safe at home, we never feel safe anywhere.  What does it mean to offer kindness and love to others when we don’t feel those things for ourselves? We often create more hardship by failing to include ourselves in the love we want to extend. How I feel about myself is no one’s fault. It is, however, my responsibility. How I feel about myself reflects how I feel about the life I live, the world I inhabit, the home I create and the love I extend to others.

Traditional Buddhism teaches about 6 realms of existence from hell to God realms. Yet, the human realm is said to be the most rewarding and the most challenging as humans have the ability to achieve and realize so much and yet that very possibility gives us a sense of unease, expectation, and demand.  because we see the possibility, we believe our lives should be bigger, grander, and better. Buddha suggested that the root of our suffering lies in non-acceptance of what our life actually is. And acceptance of our life begins with acceptance of ourselves.

It is not selfish to care for ourselves, especially when this enables us to care for others. Yet, caring for ourselves is not mindlessly grasping for everything we think we want. Because the more we want, the more we need. It’s as though the universe only understands verbs. We pray, “I want this” and “I want that”, but the universe only hears “want, want, want.” So, it sends us more wanting. And the more we want, the less we feel we have. As we cling to the ephemeral, we end up judging life by what we don’t have.

Yet, despite whatever it is we want today, humans need peace, comfort, and kindness everyday. This sustenance may be closer than we realize. But it cannot be realized through grasping, competition, coveting or creating internal pressure around what we think others think. Those ploys only leave us bereft. If I believe that I am worthless—or less worthy than anyone else—then what value can I offer to others? I can only offer my need. “You didn’t call me back”, “you didn’t get my joke”, “You don’t get me.” , “Goddamnit, does anyone get me?” No one gets anyone as their too busy trying to get for themselves. No one wants to prop us up indefinitely. While some may be willing to try, no one is comfortable with the feeling of indebtedness that comes from holding us together. And it does us no good.

But maybe we can find a way to hold ourselves together.

This holiday season, instead of looking to external sources to fill our needs, perhaps we could begin by turning inward.  My mother, after being divorced by my father, lived a very modest life. She often lived with others in places that were never truly her own. At one point, we were roommates in a beautiful little home on a river in Colorado, but it was never truly hers. Eventually, she found a humble home behind the most popular bar in town, where drunks stumbled around at night to the sounds of country blues and fist fights.

Despite this, she made that small place her home, furnishing it with second-hand furniture and Walmart discount items. Her heart, her acceptance of others, and her warmth filled that little home. Anyone was welcome. And I dragged some characters through. People would visit—many of whom had greater means than she — and would leave feeling enriched. Even when space was tight, she would welcome everyone, “As long as there’s floor space.” At times, the house was so crowded with animals, guests, and family that it was hard to find that floor space. Yet, no matter how uncomfortable everyone felt comfortable.  Over the years, people kept coming back to her home because they felt the love.

Certainly, there have been grander expressions of love throughout history: Helen of Troy, whose face launched a thousand ships; Poe’s dark yearning for his Annabel Lee; F. Scott’s stumbling drunken pursuit of Zelda. Juliette and her Romeo. But sometimes, it’s the quiet moments of affection—a drooling cat kneading biscuits on your chest—that are the most healing. But, it’s not the cat that heals us. It is the power of our affection and connection to our heart. That is how we create a home no matter where we are. It’s not the cat’s responsibility; it’s ours. We have the power to heal ourselves through kindness and affection. Then we can welcome others.

When the Buddha attained enlightenment his profound sense of peace drew others to him. After years of searching and training, the Buddha finally sat down, exhausted, and gave up all concepts, all material desires, and all yearning. When everything settled, he connected to the earth and found profound enlightenment. His contentment was radiant and animals and people alike were drawn to his peace. When asked who he was, he simply replied, “I am awake.” A skeptic asked how he could prove this.  Buddha simply touched the earth.  “The earth is my witness, ” he said.

In this moment, right here and now, we can be at home. In this moment, right here and now, we can welcome our world. In this very moment, we can drop the anxiety of wanting more and find peace in who we are.

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Posted on by joseph mauricio

WALKING THE BUDDHA’S PATH

Reconnecting to our Basic Human Dignity

We’re all familiar with the trope of a good angel on one shoulder and a bad angel on the other. This seems grandly narcissistic, as though each of us is caught in a cosmic struggle between ultimate good and ultimate evil. Many of us live under the influence of such external beliefs, and though we may not adhere literally to this idea, we are nonetheless inwardly pressured by the clash between goodness and evil.

False binaries dominate our consciousness, good versus evil, left versus right, wonderful versus horrible. We live squeezed between these exaggerations. The Buddha taught that the truth lies not in extremes but in the “middle way.” This teaching urges us to be present in our lives and act rightly in the moment. Similarly, the 12-step traditions speak of “doing the next right thing.” According to the Buddha, the next right step depends on the specific circumstances of the moment. Instead of fabricating extremes, the middle way turns our attention to what’s really happening.

Unfortunately, our brains are not attuned to the middle, especially when we are emotionally triggered. When we feel threatened we are able to easily grab extremes like little kids pounding their fists on the bed. “I hate you! I hate you!” As a child, we don’t really mean that and the universe cuts us slack. But in our adult life, we provoke consequences when we act. Where is our fist pounding leading? We can recognize the middle way when we question extreme beliefs. If we think, “This is horrible!” we should ask: Is that entirely true? Is there nuance? By examining what’s actually happening, we can orient ourselves toward a larger view of where our life is heading. The next right step becomes clear when we have a sense of direction. If our ultimate goal is to be compassionate, open, and helpful, we might ask does this step lead me toward or away from that view? This approach creates a more practical binary.  Which action leads me to where I really want to go?

Where are we heading?

The Buddhist path always returns to the present. The next step is just one step, yet it leads toward the larger trajectory of our life. Where are we heading? By freeing the concept of karma from societal binaries, we see it more accurately as action. Karma is the dynamic interplay of energy. Much of the energy relating to us is shaped by our actions. Karma is vast and multifaceted, yet the middle way simplifies this: What are my actions creating right now, and where are they leading me?

Buddhist teachings encourage us to cultivate a broad, meaningful vision of our lives while connecting to the small, actionable steps within our reach. Material possessions, though significant to society, can be seen as means to an end, not the ultimate goal. Many people claim to be motivated by money but are often paralyzed by fear of it, doing little to address their concerns. In contrast, spiritual fulfillment, which I believe is the union of emotional growth, physical wellness, and mental clarity, motivates us deeply. These qualities thrive when we orient toward benefiting others and the world around us.

The Three Motivations

Buddhist teachings describe three motivations for walking the path:

  1. Self-Care: The foundational motivation is to care for oneself. We might meditate, exercise, or connect with others to feel better. While essential, this focus is limited; if feeling better is the only goal, we may falter when life doesn’t cooperate. Instead, self-care should build strength and resilience to navigate challenges. This step lays the groundwork for deeper growth.
  2. Realization: The second motivation is to seek greater understanding. In the 12-step tradition, people often say, “I came for the drinking, but I stayed for the thinking.” This captures the idea that addressing immediate problems leads to self-discovery. The journey progresses from acknowledging weaknesses to cultivating meditation, spiritual connection, and eventually helping others. This motivation deepens our commitment to transformation.
  3. Benefit to Others: The third motivation involves being of service to the world. This doesn’t mean proselytizing or seeking recognition. Instead, we embody our growth and offer it through our actions. With a clear vision and ample space for motivation, we can focus on the present moment and discern what needs to be done.

 

WALKING PAST RESTRICTIONS

Rather than clinging to oversimplified notions of good and bad, we can ask: Does this next step bring me closer to happiness, fulfillment, and the ability to contribute to my world? On one shoulder, we might have the voice of motivation, encouraging us forward. On the other, a doubtful voice may say, “You’re not ready,” or “The world isn’t deserving of your efforts.” This voice, born of past pain and fear, resists liberation because liberation challenges the familiar and the comfortable. But, many of have grown weary of treading the same circular path, and we become – or are sometimes forced to become – ready to drop the load and move more freely.

The second motivation—the pursuit of realization—helps us overcome fear. Its scary to change. Its painful to live. And moving forward on the path isn’t always easy or enjoyable, but once we get a glimpse of realization, it is the only direction to take. By aligning ourselves with the goal of liberation, we shed the binaries and constraints that hold us back. Liberation isn’t a grand ascension but a practical return to our natural state—our true selves.

Ultimately, walking the warrior path means shedding what no longer serves us and embracing openness and presence whenever it feels safe. It’s about reconnecting with who we truly are and living in alignment with our highest potential.

Posted on by joseph mauricio

RISE UP AND SIT DOWN

Gaining Mastery Over Our Suffering: the Courage to Face Our Pain

I would like to address rising up and facing our pain as a way of navigating a life of turmoil and challenge. This is not to over dramatize life’s difficulties or to define ourselves by pain. Rather, by facing what is truly happening, we can minimize the suffering in order to work with the pain.

Therefore, distinguishing pain from suffering is key. It is said that pain is inevitable, while suffering is optional. Pain may accompany growth or even be necessary for it. Working through pain brings physical strength and emotional maturity. However, our interpretation of pain often complicates our view and tension amplifies it into suffering. We take pain personally, becoming entangled in hypotheticals, judgment, and resentment. Instead of meeting pain, as it is, in order to work with it, we struggle against it, giving it power over us. This creates great Suffering. Yet, since suffering is optional, it can be addressed and reduced.

The point isn’t to get rid of the pain. The point is to reduce the suffering we create, so we can address the pain. As we age, when our back hurts its natural and not aimed at us personally. Yet thoughts of how we hate aging, fears of what might come or how we might need to change what is happening and how the government might be implicated in any of it are not helpful. I have found that when I experience back pain, I reflexively curl away from it contorting my body into an unhealthy shape. This supports the disability and promotes a mindset of suffering. Instead of running away from the pain, I’ve learned to lean in to it remembering to breathe and gently ease up past the pain, into my best posture. This is not about pushing into the pain in damaging and dangerous ways. It’s about feeling into it and gently moving past it to a posture of authority. This actually helps diminish the pain and release the suffering we create because of it.  I have found that gentle persistence toward regaining somatic authority is possible. I don’t have to be owned by my pain. I can learn to live with it, and even learn from it.  And in this way, I can limit the suffering I create in frustration of the inevitable. Frustration is an easy out when we’re in pain, but it is not helpful to healing. Kindness, ease and awareness are essential for us to support ourselves.

But this talk is not about back pain. This talk is also about our mental and emotional health and how with meditation we are retraining the mind away from reflexive reactions so we have a way of working with pain that allows us to gain mastery over suffering. The title of this talk is “Sit Down and Rise Up.” Or, maybe “Rise Up and Sit Down” depending on its whim. By sitting down and connecting to the earth, we ground ourselves in the present. With practice, we grow comfortable with our own presence and begin to connect to our innate dignity, confidence, and well-being. Rising up in a gently uplifted posture lengthens the spine, creating space for tension to release and openness to dawn. With practice we become confident with openness. Openness, in turn, engenders more confidence in not just our spirit, but our body. With practice we become familiar with the warrior’s seat, and are able to return to it.

Our body and mind are sometimes in cahoots with suffering. The mind might attach to a darkness and the body might tighten in reaction. For instance, defensiveness often triggers a somatic constriction, arrogance has its puffed up posture, and depression is a collapse of body and mind. These physical and mental reactions to fear happen so quickly they feel inevitable. We assume it’s natural to collapse when sad, shiver when cold, or tense up when threatened. But these responses do not protect us, in fact they often amplify the pain, or support the disfunction causing it. Ironically, the tension we instinctively adopt when we feel threatened is entirely counterproductive. Tension reduces the body’s ability to respond and it clouds the mind. No martial arts teacher trains students to be tense, frightened, or defensive. Instead, they are trained to be relaxed and open, ready to respond to what is happening. In life, what is happening is not always what we think. The only reliable defense to an unpredictable world is to pay attention. And paying attention requires relaxation and confidence.

Training the mind to pause when threatened and turn its attention to the body allows us awareness in the present. And, if a threat is real, awareness is our best defence. Therefor the base point of this journey is a relaxed body, open heart, and clear mind. With meditation practice, we repeatedly return to this base point with the breath, teaching our body, emotions, and mind to learn to return to our base point in real-life situations. This posture becomes our command position, where we see more clearly and face challenges with calm strength.

Seeing clearly requires moving beyond judgment-based biases, which are often projections of past wounds. Judgment is a reflexive defense that distances us from the present, limiting clarity and effective action. Instead, we synchronize the mind with the body, breathing through fear until we can assess the situation clearly. Assessment, unlike judgment, is simple and self-reflective. It acknowledges fear without blame and responds thoughtfully.

This principle is critical for martial artists, who remain present and open rather than reactive. In contrast, action movies often glorify revenge or hatred as motivation, creating a satisfying but false narrative. Real strength lies in remaining open and responsive, not closed off by anger or fear.

For example, Muhammad Ali trained himself to relax and release tension when struck by an opponent, by famously using the “rope-a-dope” strategy. By leaning back on the ropes, dancing and smiling, not only replenished his energy, but seriously disheartened his opponents. When balanced, he faced the moment rather than retreating, demonstrating mastery over both his body and mind.

Rising up to meet the moment—rather than defeating or escaping it—is a better way to defend ourselves and face life’s challenges. This openness, practiced over time, resonates with even the most fearful parts of our minds. Meeting obstacles with awareness, we align the body, mind, and spirit to face the outer and inner challenges of life. Even adopting an upright posture for two minutes can produce confidence-enhancing hormones, reinforcing our sense of agency over a situation.

Once we learn to rise to pain, we no longer allow fear, anger, or pain to cower us. This reduces suffering, confusion, and mental conflict. It’s as though we rise up and shake off the baggage we once thought was protecting us. Sitting down to rise up is the warrior’s proclamation—a way to cultivate gentleness toward ourselves, which translates into effectiveness in the world.

Living fearlessly does not mean living without fear. True fearlessness is the ability to look at fear and see it as an ally.

Posted on by joseph mauricio

POST TRAUMATIC LOVE

The Heartbreak Clash

Lord Gampopa, a seminal figure in Tibetan Buddhism, taught that we are the “working basis” of our liberation. In other words, who we are—our body, mind, spirit, work, life, and relationships—holds all the information we need for our freedom. We don’t have to look beyond ourselves. The key is to look beneath the surface turmoil and learn from what’s right in front of us. This requires taking things less personally and seeing the path as a practical, step-by-step process, not some distant cosmic reach. Maybe the cosmic is right here, right now.

On the flip side, sometimes we place so much pressure on the present moment that we take it too personally, making things harder for ourselves and others. The present is just a blip in our flow—we meet the moment and move on. But when we hit a snag, it can occupy much more of our time and energy than is helpful. If we could retrain our minds to notice and let go, we might see difficulties as opportunities to learn who we are and how we behave, freeing ourselves from the habitual patterns that keep us stuck.

The cocoon we build around ourselves is meant to protect us, and we cling to it tightly. We begin to believe that this reductive state is who we are, and proclaim, “No one knows me,” as we search for someone who will “get” us. But do we even understand ourselves? Maybe the person we think is misunderstanding us could reveal something new about who we are.

Conflict often arises when we cling to our defenses. This is not to say defenses are inherently wrong or unhelpful, but when we identify with them, we mistake them for ourselves. Since defenses are only partial aspects of who we are, identifying with them limits our lives. Over time, we start feeling claustrophobic and dissatisfied, wanting to break free of those limiting beliefs. The easy way out is to blame others: “This is toxic, I have to leave!” But that often leads to the next entanglement, where we replay old traumas. The goal of the Buddhist path is to help us see beyond these patterns, gently recognizing them as limitations.

Each time we notice the mind clinging, grasping, or fixating, and acknowledge it, we can let go and return to clarity. This is what meditators call “coming back.” Each time we return, we crack open the cocoon, letting more sunlight in. With practice, we can rest in a state of unclouded clarity, which becomes our foundation. From there, we step into new possibilities, rather than merely repeating the past. When we react out of fear or anxiety, we can only do what we’ve done before. How many times in relationships have we said, “Let’s make a fresh start,” only to end up repeating the same cycle? Without returning to zero, to openness, our next move isn’t truly creative. Acting out of pain or anxiety only reinforces past injuries, carrying them with us into every new situation.

I once dated an astrologer who, after reading our charts, told me we had a rare but perfect astrological conflict called the “heartbreak clash.” It seemed insurmountable, and everything we read suggested it was impossible to overcome. But along with the clash came an undeniable attraction. We felt drawn to the conflict, as if we had to overcome it. “I always go for damaged angels” or “every partner I choose is the wrong one”—maybe we’re all damaged angels, and there’s no such thing as a “wrong” partner. Maybe there are only partners who push the right buttons to unlock parts of us.

I went to another astrologer, a Vajrayana Buddhist practitioner, who, after looking at our chart, said, “Classical astrologers would tell you to get out. But my teacher, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, would smile and say, ‘I don’t see a problem.'” He beamed at me and continued, “It’s our vow as Vajrayana practitioners to transmute the difficulties in our lives and find the wisdom at their core. This situation is perfect for that.”

Opening to these deep wounds can release enormous energy. We instinctively shy away from this because we don’t want to face what lies beneath. Trauma isn’t just painful; it’s the avoidance of that pain that prolongs it. We cover our wounds, hiding them from the light, and they fester. We flinch at the thought of touching those wounds, carrying them around without acknowledging them. The heartbreak clash offers an opportunity to unlock that puzzle. Imagine stepping through the iron cocoon of your defenses, even if only occasionally, and seeing things in a fresh light. That is love. And love isn’t separate from pain; it exists alongside it. Our focus is the choice we make.

However, love brings our past traumas into the present. At work, in public, or on the street, we can keep our wounds hidden, pretending to be okay. But what does “okay” really mean? Okay according to others’ standards? Or according to what we think others expect of us? And what does “starting over” mean if we haven’t learned the lessons of our past?

Once we cross into love, it opens a whole new dimension. It’s like a friendship evolving into something deeper. As soon as we do, we give the other person access to those dangerous, hidden places we’ve tried to protect. This makes relationships both challenging and invaluable.

But the other person isn’t directly touching our wounds; they’re triggering the defenses we’ve placed around them. More importantly, we’re not seeing our wounds; we’re seeing them through the lens of our defenses. The easy way out is to blame—to fixate on the other person, diverting attention from ourselves. This blocks our ability to learn. Another shortcut is judgment: believing the other person is wrong by some standard. But what does that really mean? By whose standards? Humans notoriously adjust ethical scales to serve their own self-interest. We can quote the Bible, the Buddha, or any law book to justify our point, but all we’re really doing is hiding our fear of what lies beneath.

Erich Fromm, the philosopher and therapist, said that true love occurs when two people are ready for the same thing. Maybe every love teaches us something different about ourselves, until we finally find someone else. Perhaps we failed to see those opportunities because we were focused on the flaws of others. But ultimately, we are the only ones we can change. And we’re often the last ones we want to see. It takes time to be ready to see ourselves. Yet, looking inward is the only way to be truly honest—and honesty is what frees us from our defenses, step by step.

This is the essence of transformation in Vajrayana Buddhism: the power to break free from the chains of our fear, burning them away in the fire of our passion.

Posted on by joseph mauricio

PRESENT TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

Working With Emotions, Healing Our World

Today is Veterans Day, 2025. I want to acknowledge all those who have served, suffered, and even lost their lives so that the rest of us may live relatively free and open lives. Veterans include not only those who served in the military, but also the families of those who died in service. However, there are many who have sacrificed for the cause of freedom and liberation within our own shores. The first black children integrated into schools, the first students who spoke out against an unjust Vietnam War, and those who currently challenge human participation in climate change, racial violence and societal hatred. With great respect for those who have served our military, I also want to recognize all who have suffered and been wounded in life, yet continue to face the world with courage.

Many of us feel shaken, frightened, and insecure these days—whether we put on a strong front or collapse wrapped in the fabric of time and space on our bed. We are human, and being human is a complex endeavor. Humans hurt, and humans heal. Hurt humans hurt humans. But healing humans, heal humans.

I work as a coach, chaplain, and teacher. And I am often on call for people in my life who need me. I don’t deserve any medals for this, because, in truth, it is very healing for me. I’ve been fortunate to structure my life around spiritual work, both individually and within communities. It allows me to take the pain I’ve endured and transform it into empathy and understanding for others. Though my pain is by no means comparable to the suffering many have faced, it has a very real effect on me. My wounds hold me back as I try and protect them behind defensive walls of blame, resentment and inebriation.

I started my journey with meditation when I was most confused about how to move forward. Each step forward seemed to be met with a step back—sometimes a frozen moment, sometimes a lashing out, sometimes a dive into extreme tequila to numb the pain of indecision. These may sound like champagne problems—or in my case, a tequila-and-cocaine problem—but it still kept me from fully participating in life. I was always healing, always beginning again, but the object of healing was undefined, so this process only supporting my impairment. It wasn’t until I began looking at the things that were blocking me that I could begin to heal.

The Buddhist path, the 12-step systems, and many therapeutic and spiritual paths encourage us to start with acknowledging the problem. For the alcoholic, that acknowledgment is simply their addiction and their powerlessness over it.  Buddhists, acknowledging the pain we endure and look at how trying to deny, avoid or struggle with that truth creates great suffering.  This acknowledgment doesn’t have to be measured against anyone else’s experience—it’s our own pain we’re recognizing. Just as some alcoholics enter recovery with what their friends might see as a minimal problem, and others are urged to enter treatment because their addiction is overt, once we step onto the path of recovery, our journeys are equal. The same is true for the Buddhist path. Once we acknowledge our own pain, we don’t have to compare it to anyone else. However, we can see commonality as we begin to see the pain in the world. Reflexively, once we see the pain in the world, we can begin to understand it more deeply within ourselves.

In healing communities, and discussion groups we are often encouraged to speak from the “I” posture. When we present grand ideas about how the world should be, we evoke resistance and counter propositions. But no one can argue when we express our true feelings about our own pain and suffering. Being honest with ourselves in the present moment, acknowledging how we are hurting, is the first step toward transformation. And by transformation, I don’t mean we will somehow escape our pain for a “better” life. Alcoholics will always be alcoholics, whether sober or not. Buddhists will always face human pain, whether enlightened or not. In fact, it’s possible that the Buddha experienced more pain after his enlightenment than he did before. Trungpa, Rinpoche said that spiritual transformation is not turning lead into gold. It is turning lead into lead. However it is lead we’ve acknowledged and understood so that we can to learn to work with it.

The Buddha’s journey began when he realized there was a world beyond the walls of his father’s palace. As a young prince, he was given every luxury and every training to succeed his father as head of the Shakya clan. Yet, there was an itch inside him—a sense of unease that even all his wealth and privilege could not soothe. Like many of us, especially in our youth, that discomfort manifested as an urge to see the world outside the palace walls. He eventually rebelled, snuck out, and was shocked by the pain and suffering he saw in the world. This sparked his desire to understand the nature of pain. The more he exposed himself to suffering, the more deeply he felt it, and it became clear that his path was not to escape pain, but to understand it—both his own suffering and that of others—in hopes of alleviating the suffering we create.

Ultimately, the Buddha realized that none of us can escape pain. But as is said, while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. We amplify our suffering by refusing to acknowledge our pain. Once we do, we can begin to process it and transform it into a tool for understanding others. Understanding others, whether we agree with them or not, is a profound purpose in life. By de-emphasizing the importance of our self-cherishing, we can look beyond the walls we build around ourselves and start to see how we can communicate, connect, and ultimately heal the world around us.

Posted on by joseph mauricio

FACING TODAY

Many of us were shocked by the results of the election. Personally, this was a resounding shot across the bow of my serenity and well being. The voice of the people apparently spoke to underwrite a massive upheaval of our political self-identification.

Although Vice President Harris tried to position herself as being aligned with change, she was very much a Washington insider. The Republican vote was a clear repudiation of our country’s standard operating procedures. Among other things this vote has pushed Washington aside for a radical new approach to governance that could likely reshape our society. While there are obviously those excited by this prospect, there are many who are untrusting of this aggressive leap toward a conservative view, which is now endowed to all of us.  We are not alone. Much of the world is facing drastic swings to the right. It seems to be in the air.

Whether this is a natural swing of the social pendulum, or a reaction to unspoken fears of climate disasters and over population, the new configuration in the US seems to echo the Russian model of a strong man, supported by a like minded politi- bureau and a strong oligarchy. In our nascent form we only have one oligarch, but He is the wealthiest of all and has controlling interests already tied to the government. Some of us are very frightened by this.

But, mind can run wild. We can hark back to Germany in the 30’s, or leap forward to a frightened neo Orwellian world. Or, we can choose to stay here and n abandon ourselves or our people. The only refuge practitioners have is to rest in the present, hold space for a shifting world, and open our eyes. No matter how much we want to avert our gaze, looking directly into the eclipse may be all that we can do.  Before we take the bait and assign blame for anything, can we look inward and see if we were present and paying attention while all of this was taking place?

It’s not about Trump. He won decidedly. The senate and Supreme Court have republican majorities. Maybe the House will, as well. Most of our country seems okay with this. Maybe we’re a different country than we thought. Maybe it’s about facing today and seeing ourselves. Facing today. Can we look at this new country, as it is, without creating more chaos and exaggeration? Can we look at ourselves with love and compassion without losing our strength? Now, more than ever can we remain strong enough to be kind?

Thanks for listening. Here is a clip from post election a social post by Venus Williams:

You are awakening to the
same country you fell asleep to.
The very same country.

Pull yourself together.

And,
when you see me,
do not ask me
“What do we do now?
How do we get through the next four years?”

Some of my Ancestors dealt with
at least 400 years of this
under worse conditions.

Continue to do the good work.
Continue to build bridges not walls.
Continue to lead with compassion.
Continue the demanding work
of liberation for all.
Continue to dismantle broken systems,
large and small.
Continue to set the best example
for the children.
Continue to be a vessel of nourishing joy.

Continue right where you are.
Right where you live into your days.

Do so in the name of
The Creator who expects
nothing less from each of us.

And if you are not “continuing”
ALL of the above,
in community, partnership, collaboration?
What is it you have been doing?
What is it you are waiting for?

And please join us tonight for an open and free online discussion Facing Today beginning at 7pm.

POST ELECTION STRESS DISCUSSION TONIGHT 7PM (ET)
meeting link: https://tinyurl.com/DharmaJunkies/

Posted on by joseph mauricio

FACING TOMORROW

I would like to talk about facing tomorrow. In some cases, this could be looking directly into the face of danger – or many dangers. If we’re honest, we just don’t know.  And, it’s natural to be frightened when we are unsure of an outcome. But are we ever really sure of a future outcome? Or is surety based on safely believing what we are compelled to believe? “Everything happens for a reason.” “God will protect us.” “Karma means the good guys win in the end.” We grasp for easy answers to assuage our fear. And frequently none of these answers are true.

Fear is a natural response to not knowing. Grasping for something seemingly tangible just to feel secure ironically leaves us vulnerable and unprotected. It is no value to pretend we know what we just don’t know. But, what we do know is that awareness is the best defence. To arm ourselves with awareness, it is essential that we are willing to see what’s happening. Fear happens, not knowing happens. If this is the case, it’s important to acknowledge that. We don’t know what will happen, and we are frightened. But fear does not need to limit us. Fear can either be a doorway or a wall. With courage and belief in ourselves we can accept our fear, admit we don’t know, and  face what happens. We can do this if we develop confidence in our own goodness, and the goodness of our awake nature.

Confidence and fear are not mutually exclusive. Fear is an experience humans have had throughout existence. Fear has kept us alive, awake and present. If we don’t recoil from the experience of fear, fear will create an edge that keeps us awake. In fact, it is a mistake to believe that fear signifies a problem. Fear might signify the possibility of a problem, but if we pay attention, we can move forward and see what actually lies before us. And knowing the truth is always 0ur best defense. To have our life, our joy, our spirits subsumed in worry over things we cannot control is is not protecting us, although it is robbing us of our life. The life force within us is more powerful than we understand. Maybe one of the most powerful forces in the universe.  The stream of life is a powerful experience that we can tap into whenever we are present and aware.

Buddhist teachings suggest that our life force stems from our life source. Our humanity is an expression of that source. We can learn to rest in source. It is at once universal and personal. It is our Buddha nature. When we rest in that awake nature we are doing all we need to maintain our humanity. We don’t have to be bigger, stronger, funnier or louder than how we are feeling. Circumstances outside of our control often force us to deny our humanity by reacting in ignorance and becoming something we are not. This is quite dishonest. We follow paths because other people lead us and sometimes these paths are not to our benefit or the benefit of our world. We believe that mindlessly following the status quo, or our elite subset of the status quo, will provide us what we need for security and happiness. And we need any number of things to supply the basic requirements for life. However, to the broken parts of us, none of this is ever enough so we want what we don’t have. We mistake things we want for what we need. Often we are searching for what we want so relentlessly we ignore the things we need. This keeps us agitated and unhappily trying to find happiness as we become more and more depleted of our vital spirit. Wanting is, by definition, not accepting. Wanting is desiring different circumstances than what we have.

If, for instance, we really want love in our life, there is evidence that finding that love within ourselves is a necessary requisite. If we love ourselves, we are less inclined to be led by circumstances that are not to our benefit. If we love ourselves, we have a gift that no one can take from us. We can find strength in that love. And we can build confidence in that love. However, this “essential love” is not indulgence. It is not self-cherishing or self-defending which are the province of ego. Our ego proclaims itself so loudly it does not need encouragement. Ego proclamation is a reaction to fear. We get frightened, so we puff up like a blowfish porcupine. But, it is hollow and never enough.

Also, most reactions we have to fear only make us more vulnerable and less able to actually protect ourselves. The single most important thing we need for protection from danger is awareness. But, awareness comes from a stable and open mind. In other words, a stable and open mind rests on acceptance of what is happening here and now. When we are lost in a state of fearful confusion we are giving up on ourselves. We are allowing ourselves to be led by the nose. We are likely to become victims.  Aggressive forces throughout societal evolution have instilled fear in the populace to gain control. Fear of immigrants across the border. Fear of witches in the village. Fear of our own urges under our bed sheets. All of those fears make us vulnerable to be led by anybody wishing to control us. It’s ironic that people who believe so much in the strength in their own individualism as we Americans do, can be led into situations where others can steer them quite effectively. The more aggressive we are, the more easily we are led.

Facing the possibility of change with an open heart, a strong back and a clear mind is nonviolent warriorship which is the seat of the bodhisattva. Connecting to our inner life force, we find a strength that can lead us forward. Sit down, rise up and meet the change. There is great strength in this. Finding false strength in what everybody else is doing or in reacting to what everyone else is doing, which is the same, are just expressions of being controlled by fear. On the other hand, bravery is sitting in the maelstrom, open and aware, feeling our fear and remaining open and clear. Doing this as a training practice every morning is how we remain spiritually fit and connected to our life.

But we don’t have to perform or be supersized to show up for life. We can just do it. We can step past the fear. We can meet the day with humility and grace and trust in our basic goodness.  Standing at the door we might be afraid that if we walk through we won’t be up to the task. But all we have to do is simply be present. Let your mind be busy, let the world be crazy, let other people pull and tug but remain in your seat like a spiritual warrior.  That is your birthright.

Love yourself so that you can love your world.

Whatever happens tomorrow is what happens tomorrow. Take this opportunity to connect to your awake nature finding strength in that, remain steadfast and present in promoting love and goodness in your world.

Posted on by joseph mauricio

FACING CHAOS

The Way of the Warrior

Facing Chaos – The Way of the Warrior

We live in turbulent times. It sometimes feels like we’re in the apocalypse as scripted by Stephen King. Yet, our challenges don’t seem to be enough. When facing difficulties, we often magnify them, making them seem outsized and uncontrollable by thinking everything is about us.

In some ways, it is about us, but not in the way we might think. Challenges happen, but they’re not always happening to us. We tend to personalize our experiences as a way to claim ownership, yet our need to control situations often overshadows our ability to navigate them with clarity. Pulling our hair out over a crisis? That’s egotism. Breaking down over someone else’s pain? Egotism. Shouting out impulsive plans for everyone else? Egotism on steroids. Instead of making situations harder for everyone, maybe we can work on making them easier for ourselves.

Chaos is, after all, a relative concept. Any point in the universe might feel chaotic simply because it can’t organize its experience. When we try to control the uncontrollable, we create existential dissonance. We all crave control, but when we shrink life to fit manageable pieces, it becomes less than it could be, and soon we feel claustrophobic. Real growth pushes us beyond our comfort bubble, which can be terrifying, especially when the way forward is unclear.

Yet, none of this is about us personally; it’s just life. Sometimes life is wonderful, and sometimes it’s terrifying. I’m writing this just before the 2024 election, advertised as a turning point. But even if it’s meant to steer the ship of state, true change will take time. The magnifying glass showing imminent catastrophe can be set aside for clear-sightedness, allowing us to see a way forward.

Two election cycles ago, when Donald Trump won against Hillary Clinton, I sat with the Dharmajunkies, processing shock, fear, and uncertainty. We were mostly devastated—except for one person, an Indian who had recently moved to the U.S. Though he didn’t vote, he understood the significance. He reminded us that while our culture is relatively young, his culture has endured disruptions for thousands of years and remains intact. This was a calming reminder: despite the chaos, we are still here, and there is still goodness. And that goodness is reason enough to remain steadfast. Facing chaos with steadiness could be the enlightened warrior’s creed.

Chaos is the convergence of everything we can’t define. Often, it pushes us to take impulsive, reactive positions, assigning blame and creating aggression. This is lazy. A true warrior does not respond to chaos with aggression; instead, they observe it with dignity and grace. Warriors don’t choose sides just for security; they gather information and strengthen themselves. Courage, in the face of chaos, is our greatest resource.

Instead of defining chaos, we might look inward to define what it means to be a warrior. What does it mean to stay strong through change? To face the unknown with dignity and purpose? To resist knee-jerk reactions and hateful defensiveness? Compassion in chaos is key. True compassion is not about silencing ourselves or playing the victim. It’s about opening our hearts before we act, understanding before we decide, and standing strong without needing to defend ourselves. Compassion can be fierce. Imagine a mother bear pulling her cub off a dangerous road and disciplining it for running into harm’s way. Tibetan Buddhists invoke the deity Dorje Trollo, a symbol of assertive compassion. Dorje Trollo embodies a fierce love that destroys what needs to be destroyed and cares for what needs care. He holds a three-pointed dagger, symbolizing the clarity to cut through passion, aggression, and ignorance, so we can see and act compassionately.

Padmasambhava, a great teacher, practitioner, and shaman, embodied the warrior’s path. People often think of magic as a tool for self-gratification—changing an apple into an orange to impress others. But Padmasambhava’s approach was to see things as they are and transform them toward goodness. He was invited to Tibet to guide the spread of Buddhism. While Tibet’s mystical traditions emphasized manipulating reality for power, Padmasambhava subtly shifted this perspective. The true warrior, he taught, develops inner strength, which no one can take away.

Recognizing that our struggles are often of our own making, “magic” should dispel our illusions. Even when confronted by an external threat, a warrior’s primary task is to maintain balance and strength. The “war” becomes an inner journey of self-mastery. Padmasambhava honored the ancient Himalayan traditions yet redirected their dark energies to protect kindness, clarity, and compassion.

Through Dorje Trollo, Padmasambhava demonstrated that our darkest energies can be tamed and used for good. Mastering our biases and tapping into inner strength brings clarity, a force more powerful than we realize. We don’t need to lose heart over others’ narrow views. The warrior’s creed is to protect our hearts because they are our most powerful tools.