ACCEPTANCE, THE GATEWAY TO THE PATH
The Buddhist path is said to be vast and profound. Profound refers to the notion that the teachings reach below surface standard cognition penetrating to the depths of our being into our human experience. Vast refers to the many manifestations that the Buddhist journey takes and the many methods it employs to illuminate profound understanding.
So, we travel many roads deep within our experience and see what it is that makes us human. From the Buddhist point of view all life is sacred and our life, in particular, can be seen as the working basis for a journey of ever-deepening discovery. At this vast journey lies a very personal connection to ourselves and the present moment.
Often used terms such as “path”, “vehicle”, or “way” refer to a journey. This implies that our practice is developmental in nature. Each day as a Buddhist, we reassert our connection to the path and vow to learn more today than the day before. This is not meant to create pressure, but to rather acknowledge the rare and precious opportunity we have to continue to develop understanding of ourselves and tolerance of others. It actually releases pressure because journeying on the path requires acceptance of where we are and avoidance of expectations.
In order to understand this development, we employ three methods, understanding the past, having full mind awareness of the present and orienting ourselves toward a view of the future. At the center of this journey is the requisite of finding the willingness to be “here, now.” Being here is not sedentary, as all time is in movement. Now is a moment in a continuum. So our practice is to return to that moment, again and again, as we need. This return or “recollection” it is called lies at the core of Meditation practice. We return, again and again, and do so gently so the process is sustainable and our resistance is minimized. In this way we find an even flow to our path and our life.
It is impractical to force ourselves into a tight cage interpretation of the present. It is more advisable to see the present as a moment on our path and to train the mind to return to that moment allowing ourselves the leeway to drift and flow as we allow ourselves to navigate the moment. In this way, we will develop an ability to navigate life’s flow in an organic way. The root of this method is non-aggression, which means we are avoiding the societally ingrained tendencies to be demanding, critical or expectant of ourselves. This is called “Maitri” or “LovingKindness”, which is a profound acceptance of ourselves and our world. Maitri is the foundation of a process of seeing ourselves, our path, and our life as workable. We develop this acceptance through the process of remembering to return to acceptance of the moment again and again without demand or judgement. If we employ this process of recollection and return gently, we will train our mind to stay present and develop an easy way of being.
It is important to note that acceptance is not resignation. Resignation is a shutting down of our passion, as if to give up on ourselves. It is a great shrug or a wet blanket we employ out of fear of doing something wrong. However, the term “path” describes a developmental process that we can orient toward the possible. Acceptance means that we are not fighting with ourselves or the world but learning to understand that world and who we are. While resignation is a shutting down, acceptance is an opening. Acceptance is the gateway to the journey of our life.
Sometimes we make a distinction between stating a goal and having a view. The word “goal” feels materialistic. Goals can be aggressive attempts at developing expectations. Expectations tend to rob spontaneity. Goals can be a weight or a lid, rather than an encouragement. A view, on the other hand, is an inspiration that calls us forward in a particular direction. While goals are things we attach to, a view is something we open toward. Our view is a gateway. If our gateway opens from a place of acceptance and loving kindness, we are open to the possibility of our life.
By accepting the present, we allow ourselves to be loving to who we are, however we are. If we are unhappy with our circumstance, then everything changes. In fact, circumstances will change more readily if we are in acceptance. Struggling with the things we want to change only engrains them more deeply. We lock in so many behaviors because we don’t want them. But, if we feel something in life should change, then by accepting it, we can allow it to change when it is ready. Along the way, we are learning for the situation rather than waging war that will spread to the world around us.
How we treat ourselves is reflected in our dealings with the world. If we are kind and patient with ourselves, we will have a chance to be tolerant and caring of others. Conversely, if we are at war with ourselves then no matter how we pretend to be compassionate, eventually the war inside will spread to those around us. If our view is to understand ourselves, then we will develop an understanding of others. This will make our life cooperative, rather than contentious. In this way, we can rest and return to our being and in time learn to live without the struggle that has so long defined us.