NO MISTAKE

And No Problem

Learn from your mistakes, it is said. But I don’t believe we learn from our mistakes. I believe we learn from our wisdom. And the only mistake we truly make is to not pay attention. Then we fail to listen to our wisdom.

Especially when we make a mistake.

Indeed, we need literal instruction to learn a process. And in the process of learning, mistakes are not only a given but may often be a positive. Mistakes can create a shift in our attention toward a new paradigm, a new idea. There’s a line I love from songwriter Caroline Miner Smith that says, “Maybe losing is a life hack / So I get my life back / So I can start all over.”

Once we reboot, any mistake or occurrence that happened outside of our own tight little plan can be seen as an opportunity for a fresh reboot of awareness. But by identifying with the mistake, we likely obscure the wisdom. We become mistake laden and feel, beaten down by our own judgement.

I once heard a mindfulness teacher tell her students, “If you were paying attention, then time is never wasted.” I love this. From that point of view, mistakes are not wasted opportunities, nor are seemingly wasted or undervalued stretches of time, as long as they become reminders for us to be present. When we are present, there is nothing else we need. And we can work with whatever happens.

So, there is no mistake. And actually, no problem at all.

It may be that we wish situations were different than they are. But who is doing that wishing? And how does that wishing help us pay attention to what is actually happening?

This is where we make the mistake.

Something gnaws at us inside and we become triggered. We click out of our connection to the present and begin internally arguing with life because there is something else we want or perceive we need. We want to adjust time; for it to speed up or slow down. This creates cognitive dissonance. We become agitated. We start tapping our foot, drumming our fingers, darting our eyes from thing to thing. We fall victim to every distraction in our meditation. Due to anxiety, we feel we should be somewhere else doing anything else.

It’s as though every eye is upon us. We’re no longer aligned with what we’re actually doing, and so we trip over our own feet. Our sneakers are outrunning our mindfulness.

But this is only a problem when we fail to recognize it; when we mistake distractions for our life.

The only mistake we make is to not be present.

What does this mean?

When we are fully in the present, we are embodied in the present. Our physical form, our mental acuity, and our emotional being are aligned. Sometimes we say: strong body, clear mind, open heart. Grounded, clear, and accepting.

This is all we need.

The process is simply to return often enough in our meditation that we begin to recognize strong body, clear mind, open heart—not only in our meditation, but in our daily life. In time, we begin to identify with that wisdom manifestation rather than the obscurations to it. This begins to engender true confidence. Not the confidence born of bling, setting or status. But confidence in the fact that when we are present in body, spirit and mind we have all we need to meet the moment.

We spend so much time—perhaps wasted time—reaching for the bling outside of our grasp. But the way to scale tall mountains or cover long distances is to attend to each step. Knowing our ultimate destination does not require us to fixate on it. We should know it. See it in our mind and then trust that we can let it go and be present for them process.

For example, we decide we’re going to meditate for twenty minutes. We can trust time in that way. We don’t have to keep watching the clock to make sure we’re getting there. Indeed, watching the clock is not being present.

Time is not the enemy. In fact, time is the meditator’s ally. Rather than being impatient, we can acquiesce and be grateful that we have the time. For where are we running? Where are we going? To the end? As though meditation was a task to cross off a list. But meditation is an experience of being. It is rewiring our plastic neuro-brain so that we may be present with the process of life.

The meditation teacher Ponlop, Rinpoche said, “Speed is a fundamental disrespect for our being.”

So let’s honor our being and honor our time by relaxing into our lives and paying attention. And if our efforts are intended to lead us somewhere—whether it be the end of our meditation session or the end of a journey atop a mountain—our intentions are best served through mindful attention to what our life is offering us right now.

Perhaps honoring our being means trusting that we do not have to be anywhere other than where we are. We can know where we’re going without abandoning where we stand. We can have intentions without rushing toward them. We can make mistakes without turning against ourselves or our lives.

We simply return to strong body. Clear mind. Open heart.

And do this again and again until we get the point. As long as we are present there no mistake.

And no problem.

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